The Metro Chase

A painful kid's flick especially thanks to its star, THE METRO CHASE is about the story of a young boy and his sister who go on a vacation to Paris. There is absolutely nothing eventful about this, which is why the film is required to make up "bad" things to happen to its protagonists so that the film is interesting to watch.

They fail miserably on that mark.

Complication #1. On the way to Paris the sister (who I find attractive from the waist up and yet find oddly reminiscent of my kindergarten teach from the waste down) falls in love with another random American teenager planning to hitch hike across Europe. The two of them make it on the plane and promise to say good bye at the airport. Unfortunately Cody, the younger brother, accidentally shoots off silly string at the passport checkpoint and *oops* the boy crush's passport winds up in Cody's possession.

Complication #2. Cody, the little turd, insists on taking pictures of everything. He just so happens to take pictures of some people mugging a woman. The muggers are none too pleased.

Complication #3. Cody wants to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower before doing anything else. This is by far my favorite complication because it is the only one which just might involve Cody falling several stories to his death. Alas, all this complication really results in is Cody running around in Paris a la HOME ALONE X. And there's a bizarre Tara Lipinsky cameo.

So add these three ingredients, shake, stir, whatever, just don't watch this movie.

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