Singing Babies

Quotes that were… "Row, row, row your boat…"
And quotes that should've been… Prophylactics (just be glad I didn't put in the word that originally came to mind…)

I admit once again to something of a personal relationship to this film. I got it at a Big Lots near school on what I would describe as my upward spiral into bad film obsession where I was buying anything- anything- that looked awful. The back of the DVD case featured, as you might expect, babies in all sorts of fanciful costumes in front of very obvious green screen "sets." $5.00 later I was the proud owner of Singing Babies a film by and for babies created with the logic that babies will learn to speak more easily if they see other babies speaking.

"But wait," you say, "how did the babies on the DVD learn to speak in the first place?" And this is where the movie magic comes in. See, these aren't singing babies, but normal babies just filmed sitting on their asses in front of a green screen. Post- "production" (if you can call it that) digital lips are superimposed on the babies faces and children (or adults on helium) then sing classical nursery rhymes. If you've ever seen Thumb Wars where they digital impose mouths on thumbs you can appreciate what this looks like. Except instead of thumbs, this film uses babies. Thrown in some terrible green screen animation, awful puppetry (if you count wiggling stuffed animals in front of camera puppetry), and some questionable directorial decisions (in the song "London Bridge is Falling Down" the singing babies are superimposed falling off the London Bridge and in "Rock a Bye Baby" the "ghosts" of several babies which must have been all the ones who fell out of their cradles hover around another actual baby (no CGI) in its crib) and you have Singing Babies.

To finish my own anecdote, one of the creepiest things about this film is that the DVD loops so that you can leave it on and those babies will just keep singing. Anyway, I left it on one night in the dorm and passed out. My roommate came back hours later to be greeted by these horrific little babies singing nursery rhymes. Freaked the hell out of him.

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