Masters Of The Universe

Required viewing, in my opinion. Dolph Lundgren stars in this fantasy based on the wildly popular (even critically) Masters of the Universe cartoon series. Unfortunately, whatever glory the cartoons had is lost in this live-action translation. Lundgren sounds so incredibly duh-duh-duh-dumb that you can't help but notice that "He-Man" is a particularly stupid name that even a caveman could have improved upon. Lundgren, we're not so sure. His co-stars aren't so bright either. His sidekick is named Master-at-Arms and his bodacious daughter probably has a name as well. She's got a great body, to be sure, but also the temperament of someone with hyperactive bipolar disorder. She can be laughing one moment and then trying to throttle you the next. It doesn't help that she's got a major crush on He-Man and gets really jealous of Courtney Cox (!) an Earthling girl who stumbles upon a Key which opens doors to other galaxies. And just who made that key? While, Gwildor(f), the Key Maker! Gwildor(f) is played by Billy Barty in his most hilariously annoying role of all time. While He-Man can only speak in single syllables, Gwildor(f) must apparently repeat every word or phrase twise. "Yes! Yes! I'm coming! I'm coming!" Oh, and then there's the villains. Skeletor, played by Frank Langelia, is the main antagonist. He's basically the evil emperor with a rubber skeleton mask. He has a band of bounty hunters including the famous Beast Man who are sent to do battle with He-Man and co. Sheesh! I haven't even gotten beyond the characters yet. I guess I'll have to pull up short on a full plot description, but this is all clearly begging for a recap.

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