Bad Boys II

Quotes that were… "WHOOOOO, THAT one puckered up my butt-hole! "
And quotes that should have been… "Really, we ought to get a warrant…"

Ah, Michael Bay, how I despise thee. Seriously, you can’t help but love a lot of bad film makers. Sure, some are out for a quick profit (Roger Corman, though he has produced a hell of a lot of good-bad movies, not to mention quite a few stars) but others of the Ed Wood ilk just bring a kind of innocence back to film which was wiped out with the rise of studios. Michael Bay has no such innocence. He is the studio. And he produces garbage which no one else seems to think is garbage. People actually love his work! I read an article by one of his former professors saying how brilliant he always knew Bay to be! Are you serious? Anyway, so yeah, I realize I haven’t said much about BAD BOYS II. Why? Because I’ve never finished it. I’ve fallen asleep every time (three total now). It really says something about the bad-badness of a film when even I can’t make it through the damn thing. Anyway, there are these two idiotic cops who chase down a drug dealer (culminating in an invasion of Cuba, no less) and shoot and kill hundreds of people (including KKK and Haitians (?)), ogle at a dead woman’s breasts, get high on their own supply, yadda yadda. It’s a mess with no humor and endless “action” which, by the second or third car chase, will put anyone to sleep.

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