Anaconda

Quotes that were… "Is it just me or does the jungle make you really, really horny?"
And quotes that should have been… "The steely grip of the anaconda has nothing on the Thigh Master!"

You know you’re in for trouble when a horror film bills itself as “funny.” I really ought to coin some phrase to capture this genre self-deprication. Humorror will have to do for now.

In ANACONDA, a documentary team sets out to film a lost civilization in the Amazon. Along the way they encounter a horrible actor named Jon Voight playing a snake hunter. He tricks the documentary crew into helping him catch a giant anaconda (pretty impressive considering he’s snarling or giving some a Kubric stare every 10 seconds). As might be expected, the snake is found and several people deaths later it's killed.

Perhaps most telling of this film is that Eric Stoltz, who makes the top four billing, is in a coma for almost the entire movie. Not unlike the audience, I’m sure.

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